my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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