i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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