I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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