I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize