Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
