New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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