I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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