i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
