had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
