a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
