Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
