so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Randomize
