when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
