she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
