I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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