If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
