he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
