I wish my penis had an off switch
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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