idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize