You were right. It hurts to walk today.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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