so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
