There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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