And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize