Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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