Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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