I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
