If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
