god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
