my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I AM VODKA MAN
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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