Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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