I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize