Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize