why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
