Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
