Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
