OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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