shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
