I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize