Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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