i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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