Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize