I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
