she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
