Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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