I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
