I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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