Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
