There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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