I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
