is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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