I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
