ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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