He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
