It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
