Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
