Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
