Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
