If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
