sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
