Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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