No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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