He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize