ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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